Why Boyfriends and Husbands Don’t Matter
I’m partying at my favorite place in Miami with my friends – it’s still off season and the film setup is going slowly so there is plenty of time to be social.Its soo slow tonight that literally every woman is with her boyfriend and/or husband. There are no groups of girls. All-female groups are my favorite type of group to approach as there are usually no complications in getting them to hang out and leave the venue with me and my friends.
Generally it is good to not have random men to show up to the mostly girl group you created. Usually they have no social skills; they just stand there like idiots and offer no value to the interaction.
I look around briefly and notice two very cute women talking to each other – they are the only non-‘mixed’ group. I open with “Hey … you guys seem fun … where you guys from?†They are from Canada, they just moved near Miami, they are down here partying with their ‘friends.’ They are at our table within a few minutes and my wing is engaging the super cute blonde while I speak with the absolutely stunning brunette.
Things are going too well – the girls are enjoying themselves way too much – this is too easy. I think to myself “Yup, they are probably very married.â€
I steer the conversation towards who, exactly, she came here with. Reluctantly she says she is here with her husband. Her husband is a major professional athlete.
From an outside point of view, this seems strange. Yet in the field any man with social skills will quickly realize that married women hardly ever want to hang out with their husbands when there is an emotionally engaging player around. This also applies to boyfriends.
The reason is very straightforward. Most men, regardless of success level, have no idea how to consistently engage the women they have relationships with in any emotionally relevant way. These women married their men probably because of the social value (they are rich and famous) they presented – but most men don’t have the social skills to match their real world social value. I know this because I used to be one of those guys. I’m divorced now.
And bottom line, when you are talking to someone the thing that counts the most to a woman is the man’s emotionally engaging personality. If you have an emotionally engaging personality then it literally doesn’t matter that her husband is in the next room.
And so it was with my brunette. She ran off briefly to make sure her husband was happily drinking in the next room and she came back to hang out with me.
Bottom line, though, I don’t sleep with married women.
So I park my brunette at my table and start a conversation with a group of nearby women who were hovering around our table. I pull everybody together – in player lingo this is called ‘merging sets.’ Everybody is happy – the married girl is having a great time and I’m having a great time and so are my new girls.
Later that night, I’m walking towards the back of the club to meet new people, and my brunette flags me down: “Hey, Mehow!!!†super loud. I look over to see her positively huge intimidating husband standing next to her. She politely introduces us. She starts talking to me and telling her husband what an amazing guy I am and starts touching me.
Now if you are ever the boyfriend or husband in this situation – just grab her hand and say ‘Baby, we have to go’ and drag her away immediately.
Emotions are emotions and regardless of how innocent they seem they still have a very powerful effect. The problem is that attraction isn’t a choice (David DeAngelo).
The husband just stands there with a quizzical look on his face – he doesn’t know what to do. He is getting upset though. I know how this ends. If I let our interaction continue, they will be fighting over this later. The husband seems like a nice solid guy, no thrills but a nice guy. I have a lot of respect for a guy who can marry such a beautiful, cool girl.
I leave.
She ignored him because, deep down inside, he wasn’t who she really wanted to be with. And he just proved it to her again. He got all reactive and defensive at what was a friendly social interaction. He demonstrated his total insecurity. She lost a ton of attraction for him. They weren’t going to have sex that night. All that and I had absolutely no intention of ‘stealing’ his woman – I was just entertaining her.
But there are definite exceptions to this rule. There are men out there that women will stick with and not ignore like this. But for this to happen – you have to be an emotionally engaging man. You have to be that guy that when she looks at you she is perfectly happy. This takes incredible amount of work or having it naturally (very, very rare). The guys that put the work in become naturals usually after a few years of practice. They are much happier men as a result.
Most men aren’t that guy which is why most women appear un-loyal. This is actually not the woman’s fault – most men are not the complete package and women are emotional creatures that act on their emotions when it comes to romance.
If you yourself are an emotionally engaging husband or boyfriend and she is a keeper she will stop the emotional escalation by any man that approaches her.
I have met only a few of these women. One of them is my current girlfriend.
She will not wait for me to drag her away – she will drag herself away.
This is how a man can tell if his wife or girlfriend is loyal:
Women that consistently let them selves get emotionally stimulated by other men will cheat on you sooner or later. The external level of her commitment is literally irrelevant – just in the last month two of my wings slept with two fiances who were both weeks from marriage.
Women that consistently stop escalation by other men are really into you and are keepers.